As the song goes in a Charlie Brown Christmas "Christmastime is here."
A time of year that children and families look to as a time of togetherness can also be a time of confusion for some children and teenagers. The first Christmas spent in a blended famiy setting can be emotionally overwhelming. Each child's experience should be considered by the adults involved.
The first year that a child's parents are not together can be tough enough; but if a new parent figure is involved, the child can feel as if his world is hopelessly changed forever. How does a parent help a child though this transition?
The most important work should occur with the divorced parents - they must discuss how the holiday will be structured and both be willing to compromise for the sake of the children involved. If the parents can develop a schedule where the child can spend some time with each parent, this will help decrease the child's anxiety about "losing" a parent at Christmastime. Once the schedule has been negotiated, the child should know who he will spend what time with over this holiday. The custodial parent should ask the child how he/she can help the child with the transition to the noncustodial parent. Try to help the child to have an expectation that he or she will just focus on trying to be cooperative with all parents and try to "have some fun." Make sure the child does not feel he or she has to choose between the parents - he should feel he can enjoy both and have fun with both.
After all, isn't Christmas about giving? And the best gift a parent can give is to help his child feel secure and loved.
Debra Atkisson Kowalski, M.D.
It’s great to see good information being shared.
Belated, but none the less heartfelt, Merry Christmas to you and yours!! And hope the New Year is much better than it appears it is going to be!
Posted by: Term Papers | 01/08/2010 at 11:42 PM
Thanks for your comment! We hope to post information to be thought-provoking to parents and help them in the journey of parenting. Any thoughts are appreciated.
Posted by: Debra Atkisson Kowalski, M.D. | 01/14/2010 at 11:28 PM