This week we set the clocks back to standard time. In Texas that is a sign that fall is finally on the way. (At least I hope fall is on the way.) Tonight I am reminded of fall when I was growing up in Western New York State. The beginning of fall was marked by certain smells, fresh apples were the best. There was the smell of leaves burning ands even throwing horse chestnuts into the fire until the popped or exploded. There was also shorter days. Those were all a sure sign of the start of fall. I remember all of those signs fondly. I would look forward to coming home, the lights were on in all the houses adding to the sense of warmth.
Today many parents are both working and children are in daycare or coming home to an empty house. And after that they have lessons and games and the family may not arrive home until bedtime. The good feeling about coming home to the warm welcoming home of my youth is not the same.
So why does this matter? Children need to feel they have an anchor. A place they know they are loved and trusted. They need to feel that no matter what happens home is the safe place to come to when the journey gets rough. We are so busy today and parents are so stressed by work, the economy etc. that they do not always have the energy that children need. As parents we need to take care of ourselves but still find patience, nurture and love for our children. Doing this does not have to be a big affair because often the simple things mean the most.
Sherri
Sherri, I think you are so right on about teens needing an anchor. Some of the teens I see don't feel they have that anchor at home - sometimes because their parents are divorced and the teen has trouble identifying a "home base." I think all parents should work to help their teen have that safe place they know they can always go to and be O.K.
Posted by: Debra Atkisson Kowalski, M.D. | 11/09/2010 at 06:48 AM