Arethra Franklin sang about respect. I sometimes think about her song when I am working with teens and their families. Respect is a key ingredient that is frequently missing in parent-teen interactions. Adding this ingredient into the relationship with your teen can change the interactions between you and your teen in a positive way.
As parents, we often feel we get no respect (to quote Rodney Dangerfield) from our teens. But have you ever considered that your teen may feel he gets no respect from you? Many teens have told me that they do not feel respected by their parents. Teens interpret comments we make as parents as disrespectful often - and we parents may not even realize this.
How do we get respect from our teen? We get respect by giving respect. Interact with your teen in the way you would with a coworker in terms of your tone of voice and how you ask questions. Give your teen some privacy. And talk to your teen about how you would like to be addressed by him. Bringing the topic of respect up with your teen - mutual respect - may be a catalyst for bringing this element into your relationship.
Good luck!
Dr. Debra
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