So, did you watch for patterns today. What dances did you see? We all do them, it is just about watching. Let's talk about the dance thing. If you out out dancing with your partner and you start to change dance steps and to the Cha-cha instead of the Two Step, your partner will be confused, and wonder what you are doing; maybe even be a bit upset with you. But realize, your partner will notice. If you continue long enough your partner may just change dance steps with you.
This is what you want to do with your teenager. Change the steps. Change the dance. To be perfectly honest it doesn't actually matter what you change to. We often tell parents "do something different". This stops the dance and then you can determine what you want to do to alter the outcome.
It's great if you can agree what to change it to. That doesn't matter so much as long as you change the dysfunctional dance. You can change your dance steps and that stops the pattern. If you are in this alone and not working out a new dance with your partner you will likely get "change back". This happens when we do something different. In essence your partner says you are not dancing right. THey will up the ante to get you to change back. Do not be tricked. Keep up the new dance steps and eventually you will get change.
I write this a little tongue in cheek because it should be fun. But the purpose is very serious. It can make a big difference. Good luck and try expanding your dance repertoire. Sherri
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