Today we have so much access to practically everything our teenagers say to their friends. So how do you know what to worry about? Since I am a therapist let me just make a disclaimer about worry. Either decide to address an issue or to not worry about it but just worrying solves nothing.
We know that employers and universities look at the social networking sites when they are deciding about admissions and job offers. Teenagers are by nature optimistic and don’t always understand how critical this could be in their future. One might think that since politicians and others are in a negative light in the press for sexting this may help kids understand better. However, since this does not stop adults from sexting I wouldn’t expects teens to respond better. But that’s not all, when our teens are using their own sexuality as a way to get attention via phone or Facebook they don’t really realize that it conveys disrespect for themselves. Teenagers today may feel that parents have provincial attitudes about things sexual. As a result, sexuality is a way for teens to rebel. Teenagers use things that parents overreact to as substance for rebellion. In your own adolescence think about the things your generation used to rebel. It was usually things that got a rise out of the parents.
The same concerns hold true for the use of both drugs and alcohol and posting pictures etc from parties. What may seem cool when one posts about it may not be so cool when the future employer turns you down for a job?
So, in keeping with the title of this post these are things to worry about. When there is sexual content or information about substance use parents need to step in. You might consider restricting the use of texting and social media for a period of time. And then they would need to earn back those privileges slowly and with monitoring. But that is not all. These are indications you need to dialogue with your teen. Talk about their goals in life. What messages are they giving others when they post content about sex and drugs or alcohol? How consistent is that with their goals. Remember, this should not be a lecture. As we have discussed in the past; we need to listen more than we talk. If we fall into the lecture mode they will shut us out.
The next time I will discuss things we don’t need to worry about. Sherri
Comments