DIVORCE AND THE HOLIDAYS

Teens whose parents are divorcing or divorced often have anxiety about the holidays. In spite of the fact that visitation is usually outlined in divorce proceedings, the teen often feels torn about whether it is O.K. for him to be happy when with either parent over the holidays. Teens often think about how things could have been - and feel sadness and sense of loss. Parents must be sensitive to their children during this time. Sherri wrote an excellent blog about how divorced parents need to put their teens first. So the question is - how do people who did not like each other enough to stay together work together over the holidays? Communicating with each other about the holidays and how the teens will spend time with each parent is critical. Each parent needs to give their child permission to have fun while with the other parent. If the divorced parents can possibly be cordial to each other in their children's presence, this will help the child feel better about the holiday time. Planning traditions for each parent to have with the teen helps the teen establish expected routines which he willl look forward to experiencing. Divorced parents CAN work together over the holidays to make each person's holiday experience a positive one. Dr. Debra