Let's continue to look at parents working toward their teenagers becoming responsible with integrity and a strong value system. I believe the first and most important step is the kind of role model you are for your teenagers. Of course we think about the big things like going to church, not breaking the law and paying your taxes. These are important but you can't stop there. The more critical things are those subtle things we don't think about. When my first child was born I told my husband I would no longer use a radar detector to avoid speeding tickets. True, I should have never used one but… I did not want my children to learn that it was OK to break the law as long as you don't get caught. There are so many ways that we give your kids different messages than the values we teach them.
When our kids mess up and they will it is more important to process the event with them that it is to discipline them. I do agree there need to be consequences for actions and it is the parent's job to take care of that. The important lesson is what they learn from the experience and make course correction to prevent a similar misstep in the future. I think about bullying in the schools. We do very little to curb this tragedy. Just educating students about bullying is insufficient. Schools should take a hard line on the bullies and it could end. In addition parents of bullies need to process this with their student and help them to develop some integrity. I was just thinking about this. I see the victims of bullying all the time but never once have I ever seen the bully. How interesting they are not brought into therapy.
This week think about how you are helping your child develop integrity and values. Watch to see if there is more you could be doing. Have a good week. Sherri
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