Parents often feel frustrated with their teenagers. Just listen to any parent talk - and often you will hear something stated like "it is so hard to be the parent of a teenager." Teens are walking the fine line between childhood and adulthood. And unfortunately, they often treat their adult parents as if the parent "doesn't know anything."
How do you handle being frustrated with your teen? I have some suggestions for those moments when you are questioning why you ever had children in the first place. The 5 R's of dealing with frustration have been very helpful to me over time.
1.) REMIND yourself of what your teen is doing right. For example, after reading Sherri's article, I was very grateful that my teen does not drink alcohol. So if your teen is not drinking or using drugs, that is something he is doing that is "right" at this stage of his life.
2.) REALITY CHECK. Are you expecting your teen to exhibit adult behavior? The reality is that he is learning how to be an adult...which means that times he will not act like an adult. So think about how he is not acting appropriately and try to put it in context - is he doing something dangerous? Or is he just giving you heartburn with some of his political, etc., statements.
3.) REFOCUS your sight on what your goals as a parent are for your teen. What are you hoping to teach him that you think you are not doing? And develop a strategy for how you can effectively accomplish these tasks.
4.) REMEMBER that you were once a teenager too, and that you probably did some things that were frustrating for your parents!
5.) RELAX by finding something to do that will lower your frustrated feelings. You must take care of yourself if you want to be an effective parent.
Dr. Debra
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Posted by: Martin J Potter | 11/05/2012 at 02:59 AM